morning bitchery

i don't want to be one of those displaced homos that hates his mother. i don't want to complain about my family tirelessly, insult oklahoma and all it's psycho small-town trappings. i want to get along with my mother as easily as i seem to get along with my father. since christmas, though, this doesn't seem in the cards. i don't know what the fuck the deal is, but the woman's been pissing me off for about a month. and so, here's a post where i sound like one of those displaced homos who hates his mother.

the deal about my dear, national review-reading mother is that out of nowhere--literally in the last year--she's more blindly conservative than pat robertson. gone is her live-and-let-live attitude, disdainful towards immigrants and faggots though she may have been. i don't know what happened, why the switch in her mind has turned. more and more i feel like i'm living in a 2005 remake of the glass menagerie. i just find it hard to listen to endless stories on the telephone when i haven't been able to talk to her about my personal life since my breakup with terry--and that was nearly a year ago. she shut down at the time (i mean, c'mon, that breakup was some fucked-up shit and i got barely a word of sympathy) and it's since become blatantly clear that she wants nothing to do with the side of my life that's gay--you know, that little part that's everything i do outside of work and singing. more and more i feel like, you know what, mom? if i can't talk to you about anything outside work--absolutely nothing about my personal life--i don't really care about your new principal at school.

if you'd asked me three years ago if i thought i'd be in this place--writing bitchy, complainy blogs about my dissolving relationship with my overbearing mother--i'd have said no way. but here i sit.