morning kink

i

am

hungover.

in fact, i'm hungover (possibly still a little drunk) at work for the second time this week. before you check me into promises, let me try to justify my debaucherous behavior. tuesday's hangover, sadly, has no justification. but today's, today's is perfectly within the bounds of mid-20's behavior. here's why:

• emily finished her nationwide grad school audition tour yesterday, so we took her to pazo. you can't go to pazo and not drink at least three glasses of wine. as i'm sure you know, dear readers, once you're warm from three glasses of wine it's a slippery slope into drunkenness.
• on the way to pazo, terry called to tell me that he's gotten into northwestern. this means that, like all my other friends, terry and i now have an "exit plan." by the time terry informed me that "we'd be drinking tonight," i was in no position to argue. i bought him a bottle of champagne on the way home, popped it, put on my seatbelt, and prayed.

this morning's hangover is a vicious one, though, and i have an audition tonight. granted, it's for volunteer baltimore community theater, but it's not like i'm being paid to sing anywhere except first and franklin street presbyterian church. i didn't make it out of bed in time to eat breakfast, so hilary and i got coffee at the daily grind, where i saw literally every person i know at hopkins except for courtney.

as we were walking to our offices, hilary said the quote for which this whole entry is written. we're talking about terry beating hilary (don't ask me why; we seem to make an inordinate amount of domestic violence/kinky sex jokes). before i can get the words "yeah, except that you're asking him to beat you," hilary has said "well, i mean i complain except when i have an apple in my mouth and i'm on my knees!"

WHEN I HAVE AN APPLE IN MY MOUTH AND I'M ON MY KNEES. this statement is funny for several reasons:

1. the thought of my gay boyfriend involved in s/m bondage with my close friend is funny (until it happens, then it's just sick).
2. the image of hilary on her knees with an apple in her mouth calls to mind the luau suckling pig, which is innately funny. and i'm not comparing hilary to a pig, so unwad your panties.
3. hilary was probably thinking of something dirtier like a ball gag. the idea of using an apple instead is funny because it makes me think, hmm, we want to act out this dirty dirty s/m scene, but we don't have a ball gag! what on earth are we going to use? i've got it! an apple!

i hear my boss coming, which means it's time to wrap up. kisses!