it's not a stye

as i was politely sitting here at my desk, my coworker peggy just asked me "so how come you got a stye on your eye?"

"oh, it's allergies. i woke up this morning and i was like, what the fuck?"

"yeah, it's pretty big."

thanks, peg. thanks. i'll just go get an eyepatch so that you no longer have to be afraid of my leper-eye. you can call me captain robert.