what noise does a chicken make? meow.

i just finished eating a huge serving of "spicy chicken teriyaki" from my new favorite trashy at-work lunch counter: happy teriyaki. "happy teriyaki?" i can already hear you ask. "happy teriyaki!" i reply. "that place looks really dirty," you say. "shhhhhhh, go to sleep," i say.

it's true. the place looks really dirty. well, it's not the restaurant that looks dirty so much as the food from the restaurant that looks dirty. my pile of "chicken" definitely wasn't dog, cat, or eskimo. it tasted like chicken, had the consistency of chicken; the only question is which part of the chicken was i eating, and that's an answer god himself doesn't even know.

i've never gotten sick, and where else can you get two scoops of white rice, a cup and a half of "chicken," three won tons, and a salad for five dollars? if you said "anywhere in east baltimore," your prize is in the mail.