andrew bird, part the second

i'm still excited for the andrew bird show tonight, but i've just found out that i'll be going by myself. kel can't help the fact that he's been called into work any more than my friends can help the fact that they're all otherwise engaged. not going isn't an option: i've been excited for this show for months, and i'm not about to be out $24 instead of just the $12 for kel's ticket.

the thing that's getting to me, and it's probably just because i'm tired today and sick of my job, is that this situation has kind of articulated for me what life's going to be like after terry moves. when you date someone for a long time, you take for granted that you'll always have someone to drag around with you to movies and rock shows. their plans are yours, yours theirs. my guaranteed activity partner is out of the picture, which means i have to rely more heavily on my friends. i don't know where i'm going with this.

the point is, there are going to be a lot more times in my life when i have to do things by myself. i'll do them without complaint. and like tonight, i'll pretend to be wholly engaged in the performance i'm watching. but i'll be preoccupied, knowing that when the cards are on the table everyone really is alone.