oops

the older i get, the more i find myself using colloquialisms my mother used when i was growing up. usually they're harmless, like "i nearly slapped him silly" or intentionally mispronouncing words for comedic effect.

this morning, however, my mother speaking through my mouth nearly got me into a lot of trouble: i was in the clinic, and started to feel bad for the sweet african-american girl whose lung function i was testing. the machine can be really challenging for a non-asthmatic grown-up and nearly impossible for a child with asthma. as i asked the child to perform another attempt at a successful measurement, i felt a marta-ism start to escape my lips:

"i know, i'm really working you hard...it's like SLAVE LABOR!"

that's right, folks. slave labor. whenever my mother had to do something gruelling, she referred to it as "slave labor." i'm sure that i've said "slave labor" in the past, though i've never been called on it.

thank GOD i caught myself before the word SLAVE came out of my mouth as i was talking to a little black girl. christ, i can just picture it: big bad massa robert makin' you do alla dat slave labor. may god have mercy on my soul.