live from the scene

where do i begin writing about this weekend? like most of my weekends this summer, it was full of "plans." well, full of plans and booze. that seems to be the theme of the summer--planned activities soaked with gin.

friday, the troops (george, tom, hilary, ashli, and michael) went up to frank's house in philadelphia for the playboy-grotto pool party. on the way there, we were wondering if there would actually be a grotto. or even a pool. with tom's penchant for exaggeration ("it was the biggest cock i've ever seen; i am not lying to you."), i had horrible visions of standing around in my speedo with hilary in her chiffon wrap and heels next to a kiddie pool, frank's italian construction-company-owning father glaring at us. luckily, it didn't turn out anything like that. frank's house is, in fact, gargantuan and surrounded by gorgeous countryside; his pool does, in fact, look like the playboy mansion grotto. let's just say it has a hot tub that flows, waterfall-like, into the 80-degree swimming pool below. yeah. it's that kind of pool.

so it was a bunch of homos and their straight girlfriends, gettin' drunk while swimming. wonderful. i'd like to blame my entirely too-intoxicated state on the heat of the hot tub, but i probably just drank too much. "i swear, i only remember drinking four drinks!" it's true. anything i drank after that...well...

i abhor blacking out--it's something that's only started happening since i reached adulthood. in college i was a puker--if i binge drank and pushed myself too hard, too fast, i'd just puke. anymore, though, it's like my body's gotten used to it. "you wanna drink to excess?" it says. "fine. but you won't remember it." let me save this entry (and hopefully my reputation) by saying it doesn't happen that often. only once a weekend, if that. just kidding.

a few funny drunken-robert episodes i have the pleasure of not remembering:

• heavily flirting with tom's friend from boston, to the point that he probably thought he was getting some
• crouching at the foot of my bed, ready to jump into it, while screaming "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!"
• humping hilary in the hot tub
• humping ashli in the hot tub (?)

ok, that's all i can write. i'm ashame-ed.

yesterday we fulfilled a multiple-year-long plan to go tubing in west virginia. i named it "michael and robert's field day with the ryon family." it was crazy, lazily floating down that rocky river. and now...back to being a secretary.