citycricket

mother nature has it out for me. why do i say this? you ask. robert, honestly. you haven't been in an earthquake or tsunami or hurricane. she doesn't have it out for you. oh but she does.

it's become impossible for me to get a good night's sleep in my apartment. if it's not the mice scraping around in the walls keeping me awake with their little mouse parties, it's a single, insistent cricket outside my bedroom window. mind you, the courtyard outside my bedroom isn't some kind of wooded paradise. it's mossy, gross old brick and dirt. i can't even begin to imagine where a cricket would live back there, unless it's some kind of hard-living city cricket that's taken up residence in an overturned piece of sheet metal who warms his little hands over a tiny fire he started in an equally tiny barrell.

i hear that tough street people do those kinds of things; at least they did on adventures in babysitting.

anyway, i either slept through last night's mouse noises or there weren't any. what woke me up at five am last night was this goddamned citycricket. in my sleep-daze i stumbled to the back door and looked out the curtain. i just remembered doing this, and i have no idea what i was expecting to see. if i'd actually seen the cricket it would've been worse because it would've had to have been five feet tall for me to see it in the dark through the window without my glasses in the middle of a sleep-daze. not seeing anything, i banged hard on the backdoor once. i'll just scare the damned thing away, i thought. the cricket stopped for a moment, then went right back to chirping. i turned my humidifer to high and put two pillows over my head, which still didn't drown out the noise but did cause me to worry about suffocating myself.

i actually thought to myself, god, i wonder if someone could accidentally suffocate in their sleep because they had two pillows over their head. and then who'd find me? it could be days.

these, dear friends, are the thoughts that goes through one's mind when they spend too much time alone. suicide via self-suffocation with two pillows because of a cricket.