uh-oh

i just had to deal with the most difficult patient. talking to him was literally like talking to a brick wall; getting him to go to different treatment rooms was like dragging around a 150-pound sack of wet, angry potatoes. i didn't know what the deal was--i tried my usual difficult-kid schtick: goofy, amiable, whatever. he wasn't having it. it was as if he was doing me a big fucking favor just being there (mind you, 30 minutes late of course), and he certainly wasn't going to make my life any easier.

i just talked about it to my coworker who said, "well maybe he just doesn't like gay guys." i was taken aback. "what?" i asked. "well when i went in there i asked if he was tired, and he said no. and then i said, 'what? do you just not like gay guys?' and that was it."

so, great. that's just great. of course it's already in the back of my mind that i'm the only fucking faggot around this whole goddamned place. now i've got my coworker telling me that my patients just don't like gay guys. as if in this day and age it's acceptable to "just not like gay guys." like it's no big deal. she told me that it's just a fact of life, that it's something that i should just accept and forget about. but i won't. it fucking pisses me off. here i am, busting my ass in the clinic, doing this job, and i'm supposed to just accept that FUCKING CHILDREN get to treat me like shit because they don't like faggots.

well, i'm sorry, kids. i fucking grew up in okla-fucking-homa. i got the fuck out and i'm not about to start accepting homophobia now.

sorry.