hard kors

it's a goddamned shame that my bedtime is 11:30, because last night's premiere of project runway was this two-hour overblown extravaganza that didn't end til midnight. for the first hour you saw all 16 potential contestants sewing their clothes. two of them got kicked off at the end and they were the two that ashli and i voted for. i really liked the hick girl from alabama, but her dress looked like something that i could make. by hand. in the dark. with one yard of fabric and some lace. but she insisted on hugging cold skinny german bitch heidi klum, so i liked her. and when heidi said "auf wiedersehen," she goes, "ah don't know whut thayat means, but bah!" priceless. project runway is pretty much the perfect show for creative girls and faggots because it involves so many of our favorite things: sewing, designing, bitchery, models, and talentless michael kors. i might not be a fashion guru, but i've seen the shit that man designs at department stores (not to mention filene's basement) and it's wretched.

for your reading pleasure, here's the conversation that i just had with hilary about the show:

robert: i was all wired from having ash over though
hilary: all that tina you guys did
robert: AND coke
hilary: wow
hilary: what a night!
robert: i know
robert: that's why blowout was so crazy
hilary: hahaha
hilary: blowout?
robert: er um
robert: runway
hilary: YOU'RE a blowout
hilary: ha
[just try to tell me that she's not a gay man trapped in a woman's body after that comment.]
robert: which i keep calling blowout
hilary: hahahahahh
hilary: um, excuse me, i am HAIR
robert: i am hair, man.
hilary: bro
robert: i want you to get the best engineer that i can talk to today
hilary: HAHA
hilary: i was JUST typing that
robert: "um, jonathan, this is paco. he's more of a lawn care professional, but he's the best engineer we could get today."

oh, and last night before runway i watched my new replacement for crack: martha's apprentice. while i baked a loaf of banana bread. why am i an urban gay when i was obviously destined to be a grandma?