schmeredith schmiara

phong just said to me, "is it bad that i'm getting all teary-eyed watching katie couric's last day at the today show?" and i said, "no, i had to turn it off this morning because i was getting that way myself." seriously, people, what am i going to watch now that the female host of the today show is that wretched cunt meredith viara? is that how you spell her name? ask star jones beacuse i don't give a shit. seriously, i cannnnnootttt stand her. she's like, this smug east coast rich-ass soccer mom. you know what, meredith? go take brady to soccer practice and drop kayla off at ballet rehearsal in your 2006 volvo station wagon and stay off my morning program. now i'm going to have no choice but to watch reruns of xena: warrior princess on logo between 7:45-8am. thanks.

in other news, dear readers, a woman unlike anyone else i've ever met in my life, a woman i'm pretty sure the likes of which has never before existed or will ever again exist in this world, is coming to visit me today. my MOTHER. (foreboding low-strings sound here.) oh, and my sister. but my sister visiting is way less stressful than the MOTHER.

it's not that it's stressful, really. i just have no idea how i'm going to do things with her here in nyc. like, she doesn't walk. it's not that she's in a wheelchair; she just has a hip that pains her and has informed me, in no uncertain terms, that we won't be walking anywhere. since i don't own a rickshaw or have slaves to carry me around on one of those things ancient princesses ride around on (anymore), i'm not exactly sure how we're going to navigate the city. cabs? for two blocks? i guess you'll hear about it tomorrow morning.

it's an absolutely whirlwind visit: they're really on the east coast to find robin an apartment in philly (where she's going to law school...WOOT) and are making a less-than-24-hour side trip to new york. probably because they knew i'd throw an 11-year-old girl temper tantrum to my father if they didn't. and nobody wants that, me crying like you've taken away my american girl doll.