dr. robbi

the day that i returned to work after the breakup (see nearly every post from the last week in february to the present) i got some possibly very good news: my boss offered me a promotion. i haven't blogged about it, because i've learned that looking forward to good things only leads to disappointment. yesterday, though, it became official. this week i start training as a research assistant. or, technically, an assistant research program coordinator.

never fear, i don't plan on abandoning the 'blog or even revamping it. somehow, "the reluctant assistant research program coordinator" just doesn't have the same ring to it. and can you imagine people trying to link to reluctantassistantresearchprogramcoordinator.blogspot.com? i don't think so.

i'm excited for the change for several reasons:

1. a minimal increase in money;
2. i'm no longer going to be a secretary;
3. not only do i get to deal with crazy, crazy people on the phone, i now get to meet them in real life and conduct asthma tests on their children;
4. i get to wear a lab coat enblazoned with the enscription "robert, research assistant."

i'm disproportionately excited for #4. i've never worn a lab coat in my life. i can't wait for how smart it's going to fool people into thinking i am! i wish that i could get the nametag to read "robert, m.m." i mean, everyone else around here tacks on all their degrees to their name, and i think it'd be an interesting conversation starter.

in spite of my complete lack of scientific or mathematical knowledge, i'm going to be someone who makes their living doing science. my mother got a good laugh out of that one. it's not like i'm curing cancer by teaching a 12 year old girl named laquisha how to breathe into a tube, but it's much closer to it than grinding my teeth at the utterly heinous "mt. vernon stable and saloon." if you don't know what the "mt. vernon stable and saloon" is, don't ask. and consider your ignorance a blessing.

so, girls, here on the verge of my 25th birthday, you may officially start to call me dr. robert. dr. laura and dr. phil get away with it, so why can't i?