mystery solved

finally, we know what goes into that mysterious product that vegeterians eat instead of meat:

Courtney: it's textured vegetable protein
Courtney: like the souls of carrots or something
Robert: not the soles, mind you, but their very ESSENCE, their souls
Courtney: yes. like carrots made deals with the devil
Robert: and when they die their souls go into fake beef
Courtney: they have no eyes like little orphan annie posters
Robert: that's horrifying but i like it
Courtney: and fake chicken--how they manage to flavor it is beyond me...i feel like someone is playing some cruel joke and it's actually meat
Robert: wouldnt' that be awful, yet great
Robert: and what if it's not even real beef
Courtney: i wouldn't be surprised.
Robert: what if it was like.....CAT or BABY
Courtney: it's aborted fetuses from third world countries
Robert: exactly. ground up and flavored like beef.
Robert: SO tender though
Courtney: or infanticide victims
Courtney: and so lean!