two remarkable jokes from my father, one hateful towards camilla parker-bowles and the other toward the chinese--all of them.

"Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a genie appeared.

'You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment', said the genie. 'As a reward I shall grant you one wish.'

'Well,' said the Prince, 'I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog.'

They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. 'Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?' the Prince asked.

The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. 'This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?'

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. 'I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana,' said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. 'But now I love this woman called Camilla,' and he showed the genie the second photo. 'You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?' The genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said,

'Let's have a look at that dog again.'"


and...


"A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, 'OK, take off all your crose.' The woman did as she was told.

'Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'

Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'

As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. 'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.'

The woman asked anxiously, 'Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary disease?'

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face looks Ed Zachary like your ass.'"

what i like about this joke-forward is that it's wildly, unapologetically racist; but it's wildly racist using a fake-chinese accent that i'm pretty sure george would approve of.