the fool on the hill

i saw my crohn's doctor this morning, the venerable post-doc fellow jonathan buscaglia, and got some good news. after hearing that i'd been pretty much symptom-free for the last few months, he and his supervisor, an indian man whose name i can't remember, decided to cut my dose of pentasa in half. this means that instead of taking 16 pills a day i'll be taking eight--four in the morning and four at night. though it's become second nature to me, taking four pills when i wake up, then again at lunch, dinner, and bedtime, it's exciting to think that i won't have as much medicine coursing through my system.

at the same time, it's scary.

"i'd rather take 24 pills a day and know that my intestines aren't eating themselves," i told dr. buscaglia. it'd be a nasty surprise to be taking fewer pills, only to find in three months that my crohn's has rapidly progressed and that i'll have to go in for surgery. it's probably not going to happen, but the fear is always in the back of my mind.

"well, crohn's disease goes up and down. you're going to experience hills and valleys. hopefully, we can keep those valleys from getting very deep."

though i'm encouraged to know i'm doing well, it's disheartening to know that i'm merely on a hill, and that the next valley could come at anytime. i'll just hope for the best, and try to keep the parking brake on.