La’Chaim

i went back to my crohn's doctor this morning and had lots of conversations about how i felt, whether or not i'd been having stomach pain, and poop. poop poop poop. the first time i talked to him about this unsavory little subject i was embarrassed. now it's old hat. when my doc asked me whether or not i'd ever had problems with incontinence, i responded, "what, you mean like have i ever shit myself?" i actually got my crohn's doc, the venerable doctoral fellow jonathan buscaglia, to say the phrase "shit yourself." it was a happy day. the bottom line from him is that i seem to be doing well, but they did some bloodwork just to make sure that there's no bodily inflammation going on and that i'm absorbing vitamins like i should.

after i talked to dr. buscaglia, the big-man-in-charge came in to see me. since johns hopkins is a research hospital, it seems like there's always someone higher-up to see. every doctor has a doctor to whom they report, who reports to the NIH, who reports to...i don't know, jesus or someone. the big-man-in-charge talked to me a bit about classical singing (bedside manner and all) and then asked me a lot of questions about my medical history, my family's medical history, my ethnic background. i learned a few interesting tidbits:

1. crohn's disease has been linked to stunted growth in the teen years. he asked me how tall i was. i told him 5'8'' (i've stopped trying to stretch it to 5'9''). he asked how tall my other family members are: mom, 5'7'', sister, 6', dad, 6'2''. he then gave me a knowing look. suddenly i have something to blame for being the shortest person in the clan.
2. crohn's disease seems to be prevalent amongst people of jewish descent, especially males whose jewish descent is paternal. ding!
3. unlike ulcerative colitis, another disease releated to crohn's, smoking is very bad for crohn's disease. it makes the scarring go even faster. sweet. another reason for me to continue trying to quit smoking. now every time i light up a few-and-far-between cigarette i'll know that i'm not only destroying my voice and lungs, but that i'm also helping myself along to a crohn's-related bowel surgery. sweet.
4. they've come out with a new version of pentasa, my crohn's medicine, that's a higher dosage. this means that the doctor can up my dosage again without me having to start taking sixteen pills a day again.

ok, that's the crohn's disease update for today. now i need to go call my dad and say thanks for making me jewish.