the reluctant study coordinator

oh sweet god, i'm tired today. why? because i went out last night. did i get drunk? not really. did we close out the bar? we left at 12.30.

i am an old man.

i can no longer go out to a smoky bar and drink on a schoolnight. er, work night. even though i got some sleep, my body feels like it's been deprived--like i really put it through the mill, even though i went to bed pretty much sober and didn't smoke any cigarettes last night. my eyelids are droopy and itchy; i'm irritable.

maybe, though, that's because i've just gotten to work (late) to find an email inbox full of bullshit tasks that used to fall on the shoulders of my boss, but now fall onto mine. in the last three days i've discovered just how much bullshit--and seriously, people, that's what it is--my boss used to deal with on a daily basis. lemme just give you an example of the shit i've had to do:

• list each study participant and say which t-shirt size they needed, then ask another lady here to count the t-shirts we actually have. like i'm in any position to be delegating duties.
• go through all these participants who supposedly have allergies--even though half of them are made up--and report on each of their conditions
• count the exact number of medicines that we have and somehow, magically, estimate the exact number we'll need to finish the study
• go through any number of data entry edits and shuffle all this paperwork

that's just a sampling. and it's stressful and i have to talk to people at the NIH. me. a music major. NIH. jesus christ. what's absolutely funny is that i'm the least paid person in the office, possibly on the entire floor. except that random old lady temp. the one without a real desk. the one who works next to the office refridgerator, going through charts. she probably makes less than i do. otherwise, i'm the poorest person here. what's my job title? secretary 3. what am i doing? coordinating an NIH-funded study. secretarily.