here hold this

ah, the things we do for "art." my friend jordan, the only person i'm friends with who's a new york hipster, wants to put together an "art school soft core porn zine." and i'm to be his first model. HA. here's how the conversation went:

"i want to make a porn magazine. will you model?"
"um, do i have to have my cock out?"
"yes."
"then no."
"oh come on!"
"ok, i'll do it if: i get no more naked than a pair of underwear and you make me look hot."
"ok, we'll see."
"no, not we'll see. that's the deal."
"ok, but i don't want you to shave your chest."
"it's trimmed already. i don't like walking around looking like burt reynolds."

and so, after promising jordan that i'd get in my underwear in his apartment for him and his roommate, while phong watches and he takes what promise to be the most hysterical pictures ever taken of me, the day is finally upon us. the original plan was to have me holding his chihuahua puppy named rory while i pose in a jockstrap and fur-trimmed parka. the only problem is finding the, um, jockstrap and fur-trimmed parka. "do you have either of those?" jordan asked me. yeah, jordan, because i wear both of those things all the time. because, you know, i'm actually foxy brown. either way i'm going to be posing nearly-nude with a small dog. brilliant.

the question is, am i doing it as a favor to a friend or am i doing it because i am, underneath it all, incredibly, undeniably vain? or because i really just wanna see what i'd look like in a fur-trimmed parka and underwear holding a chihuahua? it's probably a little of all three.