back on the market

ah, what a long, frustrating morning of not being able to get onto blogger this has been, dear readers! you have no idea what it's like, clicking the refresh button every few minutes to see if the "network administrators who have been notified of the problem" have fixed the problem yet. does this make me an incredible nerd? yes it does. but i'm an incredible nerd trying to kill the last 24 work hours at my temp job, so i have an excuse.

so my roommate (we won't name names, but let's just say that it's not amanda and her name rhymes with schmilary) went out on her first date in quite a while last night. and, i have to say, self-congratutorily (is that a word? who cares, i'm that nerd who pushes the refresh button) that the date went well. i mean, how could it not? as i told her before her date, "listen. even if you never see this guy again, you get to drink a free pitcher of hogaarten." and, hello, it's a date. and, as i've always told myself, you have to give a lot of unnecessary head, er, i mean, kiss a lot of frogs, to find your prince. so, at my loud-voiced prodding, hilary's--er, i mean schmilary's--once again started kissing frogs.

it's because i finally got her to join an online dating site. now, listen, bitches. say what you will about online dating. and no, i haven't actually used an online dating site to meet guys so much as i've used an online cruising site to meet guys, but it works. besides the fact that i know several people who have had great success with online dating (again, i won't name names, but you know who you are), my new boss was just telling me about a great date she had with a guy she met online. and i've dated two great guys, both (ok, one) of whom i'm still good friends with. so i practically forced her hand to guide the mouse to an online dating site and make a profile. and you know what? two days later she had a date. yes, people.

so i just have to say this: in 2006, i have no idea how people are supposed to meet each other. considering that i don't pick people up in bars (the last guy i dated that i picked up in a bar was an intensely, um, interesting panamanian man who shall remain unnamed. god, is this the most anonymous blog ever!?), and i don't pick people up in subways (anymore) or at my gym (i'm not so into 19 year old greek fat muscle heads. imagine.), what's wrong with meeting guys online? you just have to have a few rules, all of which i shared with hilary before her date:

1. if he's misrepresented himself in his picture, you have aboslutely no obligation to even finish the date. seriously. if he's sent you a headshot from 1978 and is now 160 pounds heavier or old enough to be your dad (unless you're into that kind of thing), tell him so. does this sound bitchy? yes it does. but they'll get the message
2. meet guys in public places (like, um, the astoria beer garden). let's not have you wind up in some guy's freezer or under his floorboards.
3. don't take it too seriously. like i told my dear roommate, there are a lot of fish in the sea. and this is new york, which means those fish are going to be swimming by every few days. if this guy's an asshole, just don't call him back. if all he does is talk about himself or pick his teeth or complain about the roach infestation in his apartment or talk about how much he loves the black eyed peas, don't sweat it. enjoy your beer and get the hell outta there.

what have i forgotten? i'd love your input.