obstacles

every morning when i walk to work people try to shove things into my hands. not money or gold bullion, mind you, or even hamburgers. no, it's menus, pamphlets about jesus, pamphlets about massage parlors, fliers for geico. oh, and let's not forget free copies of a.m. new york or new york metro, two papers i always refuse because i'm trying to trudge my way through a non-fiction book called the devil in the white city. at ten pages a day i should be done, let's see, in february.

refusing these pamphlets and papers is always a little awkward, though. most of the time i don't really care: the people trying to hand me the flyers look hateful themselves, especially when they're the ones handing out the jesus flyers. i just whiz right past them as they attempt to shove the pieces of paper into my hands. i sometimes wonder if they're just trying to trick me into taking it, like if they tickle my hand with the flyer it'll respond like a venus fly trap, grasping anything that touches it.

i feel bad, though, for the nice-looking people, the people who pass out newspapers or menus and clearly have no choice but to try to pass out newspapers and menus, people who are just trying to make an honest living. this is where i get uncomfortable. how do i respond to these people? do i say "no, thank you," to every single one? i'd be hoarse by the time i got to work. instead i smile at them while making no hint that i'll be taking a paper, keeping my arms tightly to my sides.

and then i get to work, exhausted.