what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

finding half a worm in your apple.

i'm all for shopping organically. there's a bit of romance, i think, in knowing that whatever fruit, vegetable, or legume you're eating wasn't sprayed down with d.d.t. moments before it was picked and shipped off to your local safeway.

speaking of my local safeway, i should be a little more honest about why i started shopping at whole foods. the safeway in canton is too far away. going to the other safeway--the one on 25th street, the one i've blogged about before--is too much of an emotional struggle. it consistently has but one register open, at which stands a line of people that reminds me of a line at macdonald's in 1980's communist russia. compounded with this superior customer service, 25th street safeway doesn't stock enough, say, boneless chicken breast or fresh basil, but you could buy enough mustard, collard, or kale greens to feed every correctional facility in baltimore for three days.

so, back to buying organically. i've convinced myself that by eating lots of organic fruits and vegetables, i'm going to somehow make up for years of smoking and drinking. my lungs might be black as the tar that chokes them, but my colon's going to be spotless! as i was biting into my big ol' organic gala apple this morning, i bit into what i sincerely believe was a WORM HOLE. there was no half-worm inside the bitten worm hole, but if i'd had a can of d.d.t. at my desk i would've sprayed the apple down myself.