long + random = great blog

i slept in my apartment for the first time last night. i can say two good things about sleeping there: the mattress i got at ikea was wonderful (it should be, it cost 350 bucks at IKEA) and it is dark as a cave in my bedroom. literally. i turned off the light last night and was taken aback by the darkness. it's the kind of darkness and quiet that you have to go to the country to find; or a basement. or, even better, a basement in the country. i would've slept like the dead except that i'm feeling like i have a cold. do i really have a cold, though, or is it because my apartment is old? the 30-year-old carpet has to contain allergens out the wazoo. i guess i'll just have to sleep in an allergy mask to find out.

i had a mild freak-out last night while cooking dinner. the gas range in my small apartment was making the place really hot even though it has central a/c. i looked around and saw the huge mess all over my living room: boxes, both empty and full, stacked everywhere; so much fake-birch ikea furniture that you can't get to the computer or the tv that i haven't even bothered hooking up yet. when i got a phone call from tom, who said that his apartment felt a little lonely, it was just the last straw. by the time michael got to my apartment to hang out last night, i'd given up trying to unpack and was standing in my kitchen in tears. sweating, because that's what i do. i sweat.

i've just been having a hard time with this latest adjustment: terry leaving, tom leaving, george being gone, peter being gone, hilary living 15 minutes away, leaving the apartment i loved, living alone again...it's just all been a bit much. but i have things to look forward to: this weekend, for instance, includes a big, gay pool party and tubing in west virginia. and next weekend, i go with michael to durham for a queer film fest and to see george and michael's sister. now if i could just find a way around this pesky day job...

OH, and hilary got us a gig singing musical theater songs for some old people in late october. she suggested i sing "i enjoy being a girl" and "i'm just a girl who cain't say no." or that we sing "people will say we're in love" and then laugh at the end. i suggested that i just hang a sign around my neck that reads "just kidding, everyone! i'm gay!!" or maybe i'll wear a pink thong. i'm taking suggestions...