making a list

dearest, dearest, darling readers. i know i've been a bad blogger lately. i know. i've spent time in airplanes, airports, gay bars, malls, and even oklahoma. instead of trying to type all of the completely insane things that have happened since last we spoke, i thought it might be kind of fun (for me, anyway) to make an itemized list of my christmas, er, i mean winter break.

• four (4) airplane flights, two (2) of which were spent sitting next to screaming babies/children, four (4) of which were spent high as a kite on valium
• one (1) gay magazine (out, i'm embarrassed to admit) and one (1) gay non-fiction historical book read
• three (3) trips to and from oklahoma city from ponca city, totaling seven (7) hours spent driving/riding on the straightest road this side of montana
• one (1) blowout fight with my mother, epic in proportion for my family, concerning her reading of the national review
• one (1) new year's eve "manpile," completely nonsexual in nature (unless you consider jeff, kel, phong, and robert wasted and trying to sleep in a full-size bed sexual)
• one (1) pair of expensive, ass-hugging jeans bought for pre-manpile gaybar excursion
• one (1) new year's eve kiss that lasted roughly three days
• four (4) grandparents and one (1) great-grandparent, totaling 440 years of age. i shit. you not.
• one (1) christmas dinner, courtesy of queen anne cafeteria in oklahoma city, because my grandparents are too old to cook
• four (4) christmas songs sung, sick as a dog, at two (2) christmas eve services
• six (6) zithromax antibiotic tablets taken
• one thousand (1000) cappuccinos drunk, because my mother got an expensive cappuccino machine for christmas
• two (2) cd's bought: guerolito by beck (cool) and the breakthrough by mary j. blige (shh)
• one (1) haircut, which i went into my stylist and called "an off-hours mohawk." "like a faux-hawk?" "no, cut it like a mohawk but i won't spike it like a mohawk. trust me." he gave me a faux-hawk. but it's cute.
• five (5) drunken new year's eve makeout pictures that i don't remember taking

ten (10) days off work, seven (7) of which were spent outside baltimore? priceless.