30 minutes is never enough

two concurrent conversations i just had about the impending georgelamfest happening halfway through march, a.k.a. the recital that's less than a month from now:

robert: george and i are talking about programming
phong: oooooooh
phong: one song after the next is a good idea to me
robert: oh you're right
robert: of course. why hadn't i thought of that?
phong: yeah, most ppl overlook the obvious
robert: we're trying to find a pianist :-(
phong: oooooooh
robert: i don't know anyone
phong: for cheap or for free?
robert: right
phong: free first
phong: but cheap after that
robert: exactly
robert: apparently george is trying to pull some favors
phong: ah
phong: ..hmm..."remember that time i gave you a bj? well, now you have to accompany for a recital."
robert: exactly
robert: and god knows i've given enough bj's someone should owe me something
phong: haha!
phong: i mean........oh

and...

george: billy balldrop!
george: :-)
robert: he's outta town
robert: or i'd ask
robbi607: he's on the national cats tour
george: meow
robert: rowr
george: the cats tourrrrrr
robert: haha
george: god that must get OLD after like 2 nights

but seriously, folks. this thing is happening in less than a month and i programmed it day before yesterday. let me walk you through my programming process:

1. walk into the front door of peabody because my access card no longer works because i graduated nearly two years ago. yet i still live across the street. pretend to the guard that i actually belong there. the only time he's ever "carded" me is the time last summer i went in there in a wife beater and cutoff shorts, tatts blazing and head shaved. thank god i had my ID on me.
2. try to walk as inconspicuously as possible to the library, avoiding contact with anyone i went to school with, lest they find out that i'm still living across the street, not singing in milan
3. look up song sets by lee hoiby, because i just heard mary catherine sing "come ready and see me" and it inspired me to sing that song again
4. be unable to find "come ready and see me" but stumble upon a set of walt whitman songs by hoiby
5. think, "oh, yeah...we two boys is kind of taken from leaves of grass. hmm, whitman."
6. type "whitman" and "songs" into the peabody library catalogue search
7. unshelve 129 books, each of which include at least one song set to text by whitman
8. decide that 127 of those books include songs that are either too low, too high, or too difficult to learn in three weeks
9. make copies of two entire books, one by weill and one by rorem
10. punch holes in said copies

voila! a walt whitman-inspired 20th century recital is born! here's the thing. even though i picked music that i knew i could learn, none of it's easy. and i sang through the weill yesterday and it's going to be a big sing. i know that sounds dorky, to say something like "big sing," but you classical singers out there know what i'm talking about. it seems like these days i'm so concerned with my technique--since i sing so little--that i've lost all nuance and phrasing. and interpretation. basically i bulldoze through songs, just trying to make sure that i'm making a good sound, completely irregardless of anything else. i need jsq back.

i'm concerned because even though i'm just singing in some classroom in peabody, it's still singing at peabody again. sure, it's an elderhostel concert, which means that even if i fart onstage and try to pass it off as singing they'll be appreciative, but i want it to be good. i have to not just learn the music; i have to really have it under my belt. and, dear readers, when you work a desk/clinic job 40 hours a week while trying to find a new job while holding down a church job while trying to have a life, it's hard to carve out more than 30 minutes a day to practice.

and 30 minutes a day ain't gon' cut it.