diary of a pornstar

somehow it's already monday again. i don't mean that in a kind of cutesy-poo eye-roll t.g.i.f. coffee mug where-did-the-weekend-go-oh-i-know-what-you-mean, work camaraderie kind of way. i mean, honestly. where is my life going? these days it all seems to roll out faster than i can keep up with it. before i know it, my apartment's strewn with clothes and everything i planned to get done this weekend has been pushed off to next weekend and it's time to go sit at my desk again.

the blame, i think, lies in the fact that i'm keeping myself so busy on the weekends. with moving soon, there seems to be an added pressure to have fun on the weekends in baltimore while i'm still here. i don't lay around, i feel guilty for taking naps. i was hanging out with phong this weekend and told him that i was feeling tired. "why don't you take a nap?" he asked. i launched into a tirade about how i only have two days to myself the entire week and i'm not going to fucking waste it sleeping. something, i think, needs to change when i start seeing rest as a waste of time.

this isn't to say, however, that it wasn't a great weekend: partying with my boys in dc, yummy, expensive lunches, and lots of beer and games and football that was really an excuse for me to cook chili in breadbowls.

in other news, i'm meeting with what's left of the study staff today to tell them that i'm leaving. even though it's exciting, new york is barrelling down on us faster than i ever could've imagined, and i don't have a single job interview yet. people keep telling me it's early, that new york moves faster than baltimore does; but hilary's going up for an interview on friday and is looking at an apartment that's open april 1. so all the joking, all the faux self-confidence of "moving whether or not i have a job" is happening. adult entertainment industry, here i come.