wonders never cease

the unthinkable happened today in the gym: tourette's guy talked to me in the locker room. for those of you who don't know, there is a nasty, nasty trio that always shows up at the gym the same time that kel and i do: tourette's guy (who always wears oversized tank tops, out of which poke one or both of his manbreasts, and who grunts and screams like he's mr. universe even though he lifts very little more than i do); smelly guy (who smells so bad that you can literally smell where he's been in the gym); and rude black guy (who earned this name when i asked him, "do you mind if i work in with you on this bench?" and he replied "why? what's wrong with that bench?"). recently, the trio has become a foursome with the addition of semi-fat japanese guy, a 20-something who doesn't seem to fit in with the previous three in any way except that he has a bad attitude.

so that's the backstory.

tourette's guy completely ignores kel and i, although he talks (and whistles, and sings, and makes what sound to me like barnyard noises) to everyone else in the gym. he even talks to our other gay friends, two of which have gone from being known simply as "our gay gym boyfriends" to brent and jorge. however, none of our other gay friends are as...how shall i put this...awesomely flamboyant as kel and i are. i think that tourette's guy pretends we're not there because we're obviously, to put it lightly, cocksucking fairies (or faeries if you're tori amos). i don't know what would've tipped him off; it might be my skin-tight sleeveless black shirt or kel's platform sneakers. who knows--the point is i think that he ignores us because we're homosexuals.

the world turned upside down 30 minutes ago (see previous post, "opposite day") when, after i had finished changing and rolling my eyes after hearing (not seeing) tourette's guy come into the locker room, he goes, "you done already?" my reply: "yep; well, i got here early today, and i'm a little hungover so i took it easy." "yeah, man, i wish i was done already." are we actually having a conversation? i thought. "cool. well, take it easy, man," i said. take it easy, man? who do i think i am? kyan from queer eye? "have a good one, bro." i'm walking out and after i've nearly cleared the door i hear tourette's guy say, "if you have a hangover, drink ginger ale." i have my suspicions that he's borderline retarded, so i know he was really trying.

is the tide turning? am i going to be nice to my gym nemeses, the nasty trio, the unholy trinity? we'll see, chilluns, we'll see.