ew, chelsea

happy late martin luther king, jr. day, dearest readers! i hope that you all enjoyed a day off yesterday, and that if you didn't get a day off you at least came to work drunk off your ass on 40's of mad dog. you know, in protest of the fact you had to work. does anyone else see coming to work wasted as a protest? just kidding, me either. (damn it's hard to type when you're this drunk.)

i was greeted this morning with an updated resume that my boss worked on for me this weekend. in her words,

"Hi Robert,
On my unusually swingin' Saturday night, I had free time to review and make some changes to your resume. Hopefully this will help you acquire a corporate position with a high salary!"

when i saw the resume that she'd drawn up for me i was literally embarrassed to have sent the ones out last week that i did. i mean, she tweaked it to look like i had an extremely amazing job with all kinds of intense responsibilities. there's really no exaggeration on the resume; it's just that she somehow made it all sound better than i could. now if i could only find a way to weasel my way into upper management somewhere and get a starting salary higher than 28k a year. because, my friends, 28k a year isn't going to go very far in new york. that's barely even enough to go drinking in chelsea 6 nights a week. i mean, come on. a boy has needs.

just kidding. ew, chelsea.