garbage assholes

i write to you this fine tuesday afternoon from my new desk at my new job with my new boss sitting right next to me. and i can't really tell you a whole lot about my job because, unlike my temp job (see "dear temp job"), i don't want to lose this job. and i hear that blogging about work is a totally awesome way to get immediately canned. i'd rather not find out for myself, so i'll just say this: it's awesome so far; the people are nice; the work's busy but enjoyably so; and the commute from my front door to my desk is just under 35 minutes. woot.

no, dear readers, i'm not going to write about work. i'm instead going to write about the garbage, specifically the new york city sanitation department. is that what they're really called? who cares, because they are fucking assholes.

and here's why.

for two weeks in a row now, they've refused to take our garbage, telling our crazy greek landlord that "we need to put our recyclables in clear plastic bags." at least i think that's what they're telling him, because i can understand literally not a word that this man says. and he inevitably comes to talk to me about it between 7:50-8am, which is just after hilary and amanda have left so i'm the only one left at the house and am therefore the only one around to deal with him. anyway, crazy greek landlord tells us that the garbage assholes have told him we're not separating out our garbage correctly (i think). mind you, we're not just throwing bottles and cans and boxes in our garbage. oh no. those are all either LINED UP on our kitchen counter or in a mysterious box that somehow became our "recycling bin" because it was next to the trash can. so i know for a fact that these garbage people are lying. and we can't have this trash pile up another week.

don't tell anyone, but on wednesday (our next trash day) we're going to take our trash down the block and drop it off in front of someone else's house. this will have to be done under the cover of darkness, because apparently the trash is serious business here in new york city, and i'm sure that we'd either be fined or have our asses kicked if anyone saw what we were doing. but i'm sorry. these trash men have it out for us and we're not going to take it lying down.